On Salvation
In my own medititations, I have reached the conclusion that salvation is dependent on Christ, not on your own propensity to sin or not. It's like this: You are a child of God, who lives in the love of God, correct? At the same time, you are a disciple, an apprentice, of Christ. These are profound things, are they not?
Our salvation cannot, I repeat, cannot be reduced to "what you do" or "what you believe," but is instead more...abstract? That's not the right word. There's no "formula" for salvation, there's nothing you must "do". Heaven is not a reward, a prize you win, as much as it is a destination that we must travel to. And how do we get there? By following Christ as closely as we can, dependent on the mercy of God.
You see, Heaven is the life for which we were always intended, but we have been so deluded and clouded and ruined by sin that we are no longer fit for it. Christ has given us the way, the means to grow ripe for Eternity, to order ourselves correctly.
You musn't focus on individual sins. It's not that you must repent of every single individual sin - a daunting, impossible task, as you correctly point out - it's that you must let Christ change you. You must be so desperate, so despairing at your own ability to change yourself that you reach the profound recognition that Christ will change you.
The Gospel lies in self-donation rather than self-assertion, submission rather than willfulness; we cannot change ourselves. Passivity is activity; if we want to change, we must stop trying to change ourselves. Don't you see that only Christ can truly heal our souls?
Don't think of God as a bean counter who tallies up your sins and then makes judgement. He's not that callous or cruel. Rather, He's your Father, friend, infinitely merciful. Be not afraid!


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