A Question for the Readers
This is something that's been on my mind lately, and I thought I'd ask you, the great, anonymous, unwashed masses of LTLYC, for your perspectives.
How does one live the Gospel? How can one live a life of radical self-donation, or, more directly, how does one "give up everything and follow" Christ?
What follows is a letter I wrote to my pastor some time ago, to which he, unfortunately, never replied.This is something that's been on my mind lately, and I thought I'd ask you, the great, anonymous, unwashed masses of LTLYC, for your perspectives.
How does one live the Gospel? How can one live a life of radical self-donation, or, more directly, how does one "give up everything and follow" Christ?
What follows is a letter I wrote to my pastor some time ago, to which he, unfortunately, never replied.
The essential question of Catholicism is not "how far can I go before
I get in trouble," but "what can I do to be a holy person;" not "what
am I permitted," but "what am I to be?" The answer to the essential
question is, of course, Christ: I am to be Christ, to form and be
formed in That image. But how to accomplish this?
I understand the terms, the concepts, the premises of our faith, that
we are to participate in what Scott Hahn calls "the life of the
Trinity," the familial existence of the Church, with is family love,
self-sacrificing rather than self-asserting. However, the question I
have never been able to answer is the real-world application of this
idea, the "what" and "how" to this "why." I feel much like the rich
young man who was told by Christ to give up everything and follow Him;
however, I have difficulty seeing Christ before me, and figuring out
exactly where He's going.
I feel like I live, as John Paul II puts it, "in the shadow of the
Law." Every time I ask "how do I follow Christ more closely, how do I
emulate Him," I am told "pray the Rosary. Attend Mass regularly." But,
like the rich young man, "all these things I have done." Surely there
must be more!
Essentially, how do I pass from an externalized, compartmentalized
faith to one fully lived?
I am not fully or even properly formed. I've spent most of my
Christian life in debate, looking more to win arguments than to live
in the life of the Trinity. I did this under the guise of "love;" I
love these poor Protestant souls, and so I will yell them into
Catholicism. Needless to say, I was less than successful, and I have
since been shown the error I perpetuated, an "us and them" mentality that
destroys authentic faith. I am the victim, too, of this mind
which calls me to be a crusader against error rather than a
participant in the family love of the Trinity.
How do I live this faith fully? How do I comprehend and know Christ as
Christ is to be comprehended and known, which is in love, obedience?
How do I come to stop viewing God as my King and instead as my Father?
This is, of course, the fundamental challenge of V2 as taught by Pope
John Paul: self-donation, inner conversion and formation, a new
freedom where the rules hardly matter (for example, St Augustine's
"Love God and do what you will;" when you love God fully, the "rules,"
as I put it, become unnecessary as one is living a life _conformed to
the Person of Christ_). But how is this acquired? How does one _live
this life?_
I have a very Franciscan notion - more like a Christian notion, I
think - that we are, first and foremost, called to self-giving
service, which is love, to mankind, and I feel very strongly called to
some sort of "radical, revolutionary," authentic Christian life of
service/love. George Sim Johnston writes, "We are created in the image
of a Trinitarian God, three persons in the act of eternal, mutual
self-giving. We have the 'law of gift' inscribed in our being. There
are two sentences from Gaudium et Spes that John Paul quotes
repeatedly; they are the leitmotiv of his pontificate. First: Man 'can
fully find his true self only in the sincere gift of self.' In other
words, contrary to our hedonist culture's notions of happiness, we
find our humanity more in self-giving than self-assertion, in
relationship rather than self-sufficiency. And the second is like it:
'Christ the new Adam...fully reveals man to himself.' The truth about
ourselves is ultimately not a proposition but a Person, who Himself is
defined by total self-donation."
I often read these writings by varied and sundry authors, online and
off, that make this point - self-giving service, love, Personhood in
Christ - but none will even begin to offer practical advice on how to
go about living this authentic Christianity. So, having ploughed
through my verbose communique, I pray that you can offer some sound
advice on the matter.
Well, Friends and Enemies, let me know what you think.
posted by Seatbelt Blue @ 7:24 AM
1 Comments:
"Dr. Duk told me many times that I should be free to act for myself. I believed him. Just as I believed him when he suggested that I take up bird-watching. So, clever, straight-A student that I was, I set forth to act for myself. Which, of course, I was not doing at all. I was following instructions. Then how does one ever make the discovery that one can actually be free to act for oneself? I don't know. I don't even know how many, if any, do it." ("The Second Coming" by Walker Percy, chapter II, Picador p40).
Walker Percy believed that freedom could be recovered temporarily during a catastrophe.
My experience has taught me several things.
First, every morning I beg Christ to be present in the circumstances of my life, no matter how seemingly banal or absurd. I pray "come Holy Spirit, come through Mary" (Come Holy Spirit as at the Incarnation: to make Christ present through the flesh, through Mary).
Second, I remember that Christ told us he was sending us as sheep among wolves. Our task is to remain faithful and to struggle in a devoted way. Our task is not to win battles or wars. The victory has already been won by Christ. Part of the cross of following Christ is the experience of contradiction and personal failure, while desiring the purity of the Gospel. This is the secret of the Beatitudes, which Jean Vanier teaches.
Third, if anyone say that he loves Christ and hates his brother, he is a liar. That is, the Christian life is not possible except as a communion with others in the Church. Ideally, one lives this communion with friends that one sees regularly, but it can take serious effort under modern conditions.
For years, I read everything I could to answer the questions that you ask. I found great answers in Balthasar and others. See, for example, "Prayer: the Mission of the Church" by Danielou. But, reading did not help me live my faith. What has helped me has been the friendships I have built with the members of my School of Community (Communion and Liberation) and the practice of judging my life during that time. I find that this friendship keeps the question you ask alive in my life: "how does one give up everything and follow Christ?" Such a question cannot be answered once and for all, but must be received every day from the hands of Christ.
The Church needs the pure of heart, those who mourn, and those who hunger and thirst for justice. I invite you to find a School of Community near you and "come and see" for yourself.
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